new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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