I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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