Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
