when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
