Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They took my balls.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
