I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The ass gains better be worth it
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