I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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