Sponge bath it is.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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