please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
