oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Randomize
