I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize