For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
