I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
