Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want to make a zoo with you.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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