White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
