Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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