Don't you send me to vm
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
