There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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