she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
