So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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