So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
