He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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