Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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