it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize