You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
