brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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