ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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