a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
