Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
