So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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