I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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