That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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