Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
