is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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