Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
