I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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