So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
