I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
