I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
