can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
