Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
