I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
