i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
