No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
