its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We left the knife in your bed.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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