ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
did you just send me my own nude
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
