I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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