I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
