508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
