oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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