its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
