I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
