On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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