Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
