I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
