its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
