yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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